Cherry 2015

cherry 2015

In 1987 I was an eleven year old boy who loved Science fiction movies and was always drawn to futurist type movies. That year a movie called Cherry 2000 was released staring a young Lawrence Fishburn and the 80s it girl Melanie Griffith. The premise of the movie is strangely close to the world we live in now which is why I wrote this… Look I don’t expect anyone born in the 90s to have any sort of reverence for this movie, it was for the most part really entertaining crap. However, the story line is one that we are seeing right now.

I believe there needs to be some context for what is about to become a very real reality for the rich and affluent, or the lonely socially inept and horny. This context if you thought about it; say a decade ago would have seemed totally farfetched, today halfway through 2015 it’s really real:

Cherry 2000 is set in a post-apocalyptic future world, the main character is a man named Sam Treadwell who is played by actor David Andrews (who starred in Fair Game as Scooter Libby, Terminator 3, Wyatt Earp, Apollo 13, Cherry 2000, Fight Club, Hannibal, A Walk to Remember, The Conspirator, and World War Z).

A doll ready for shipment to a client. Photograph by Jonathan Becker.
A doll ready for shipment to a client. Photograph by Jonathan Becker.

So back to our beloved robot-loving and lusting Sam. Our hero Sam lives in a world where concepts like romance, economics and technology have evolved into such a state that human relationships are reduced to simple commodities (please someone tell me it’s any different than nowadays, yes fuck you social media and all your ills). Hell the narrator even says it in the opening lines “In the future man has survived but romance has not” seriously could it be any closer to how shit is in 2015?

Sam has bought (because you can now be like Sam) his one true love; a (android) Cherry 2000 and until she fries her circuits beyond repair, while he was fucking her in the bathtub (like who knew that robots weren’t waterproof), he was the happiest man on earth till his creampie fried her motherboard. By the time our beloved Sam loses his robotic real doll, Cherry 2000s are extraordinarily difficult to find in 2017.  Sam can’t continue going on no matter how much his friends have tried to take his mind off of things, he realizes that he doesn’t want anything except for a Cherry 2000, fuck real women and a real pussy he wants that silicone sweet box.

So what does this man do who has totally fucked up the robotic love of his life? He takes her to a repair shop! Somehow I keep thinking wouldn’t kit be cheaper to marry your Sybian or your sex toys? I mean companies like Topco make some exceptional shit that you really could fall in love with. And is it so strange to want to marry your source of pleasure? These days people have married their pets, themselves, inanimate objects, so what’s so fucking different of a sex toy or in this case a walking, talking, sucking and fucking android? For the inexperienced male, this Cherry 2000 is the ultimate woman who does everything except nag and bitch you out. And today in 2015 if you have 30-60k to splurge you can have your very own Cherry 2000. As we dig deeper into Cherry 2000 we see that the premise is rife with porn references… Especially when the area of his interest to find his robotic replacement is called the Glory Hole and Sam meets a man named Jim Skeet (seriously could there be any more specific porn references); yes actually there is one last one the main club is called the Glu Glu Club (doesn’t that sound like a noise made in deepthroating scenes?) but I digress, this is about the rise of the robotic real doll, not 80s futurist movies projecting that technology and man will be linked at the hip (literally).

So to finish with our contextual premise, our beloved Sam takes his robotic real doll to a repair shop. The repair guy after showing Sam a possible host of replacement androids, which he clearly isn’t interested in, he flat out tells the repair guy he must absolutely have a Cherry 2000. As luck would have it for Sam finds out his beloved android’s personality disc is still intact and the old repair guy tells him that to have a chance of finding a replacement Cherry 2000 he must go to Zone 7 and to do that he needs to hire a tracker and to go to Glory Hole (could it be worse than having to go to a glory hole to find love?). Sam drives to Glory Hole, meets some robbers who take his gun but leave him enough money to hire E (who is played by Melanie Griffith). E the female robotic real doll finder/tracker drives a really cool 1965 red Ford ‘stang with off-road tires and futuristic modifications which we now see in 2015 models of cars minus the cool bazookas and lack of MP3s (unless you live in Joburg or anywhere in South Africa). Sam and E. (aka Mrs. real pussy) escape across the desert, E. attempts to seduce Sam saying the personality disc is destroyed and just as they are about to fuck the recorder in her pocket activates with Cherry’s voice talking, and Sam is once again in love with his robot and no longer wants a real woman. Eventually they make it to the Zone 7 Glory Hole, and find a replacement robotic real doll in a casino because hey why not, all vices are found in casinos. As Sam puts the personality disk in and starts to make up for lost time with his walking and talking Sybian. A gunfight ensues, the heroes attempt to escape. And in the end he ends up flying off with E. Johnson, into the wild blue yonder, past the Glory Hole Zone without his beloved RealDoll.

cherry 2015

So why the fuck did I just force you to read a movie synopsis that is 30 years old? Well for starters because Cherry 2000 is real, no not like in the movie, I mean if you have say an extra 30-60k you too can have your very own Cherry 2000, minus the bullshit of a relationship broker and the need to go to a glory hole to find one, however, there are surely some sex scenes on a tube site that clearly exemplifies the benefits of this relationship. Now what the fuck am I really talking about?

Fast forward the VHS tape out of the VCR, does anyone actually still own one? The Chairman of the European Robotics Network at the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm in 2006 prophesized that within 5 years (so that would make it 2011) that we would be having sex with robots…even basic ones. If you don’t think that a Sybian is a robot, or a rabbit or a vibrating vagina isn’t one you are sadly not being honest with yourself. So you’re asking yourself now, what’s the big deal? Well once we can be intimate with a soulless machine where is the room for a soulful human? There isn’t when entering the Abyss…and the abyss I speak of is the company called Abyss Creations, which has now automated the real doll, and the first prototypes have used a few Wicked Girls to serve as a template of sorts, because seriously who doesn’t want to fuck a Wicked Girl? We aren’t talking inflatable dolls that don’t look real this is a 60-125 pound doll that has measurements as to your specific requirements, that short of breathing is very lifelike. So you still don’t think that this is a real thing that only us porn people are concerned about well, CSI: New York, My Name Is Earl, TLC’s My Strange Addiction, Sons of Anarchy, House, and 2 Broke Girls all seemed to think it was worth shelling out the money for, but the silver screen (ok maybe straight to vid silver screen) thought enough of it that robotic real dolls were featured in Totally Busted 3, Rubberheart, Regarding Jenny, Surrogates, starring Bruce Willis, who could forget Lars and the Real Girl starring everyone’s fav heartthrob Ryan Gosling and 2040 (when sex is outlawed, androids replace porn stars, which after the most recent regulatory changes in LA County is probably what the porn industry will look like in LA, after all the majors leave for Vegas).

cherry 2015-2


Now all ethical meanderings aside because let’s face it; this isn’t going anywhere and if anything there will be more budget-conscious models available to consumers as they become more and more popular. By their records Abyss is selling 6-10 of this a week. So anywhere from 24 to 40 of these are being sold every month. There are some very affluent perverts out there who have a shitload of money to spend on pleasure. It isn’t only Abyss Creations that are automating RealDoll’s it’s also something that Matt McMullen (the creator of the RealDoll) has been working on too. Since 1996 (yes they have been around this long) he has sold over 5000 RealDolls, his new project called Realbotix is his own attempt to animate the inanimate object. He is working with engineers from Hanson Robotics, who just so happen to be a robotics lab that produces the most lifelike humanoid robots you have ever seen, its actually quite scary how lifelike they are. What McMullen wants to do is work on the Realbotix head which can then be attached to your RealDol, like any other accessory. This will commercially available to anyone with the 10000$ budget required for it, and the full automated body will be ready within the next 2-5 years and will cost you a nice 30-60000$, so fuck a car all you need is this baby to ride. Like Cherry 2000 she will be fully customizable and willing to entertain even the most depraved acts. Sounds like she will be perfect for porn too, count on seeing a Kickstarter campaign from Brazzers or Mofos breaking in their newest amateur babe, and she will take orders and not take any breaks, and only require some cleaning and maintenance from time to time. In essence this will be the only pornstar you can certifiably say is STI and HIV-free for her entire career. Should you have enough money to afford her time, then by all means, invest in the one piece of ass you can say you own and will always own.

New York Times-RealDoll
New York Times / RealDoll
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