Video 4 of 5: I can't take this much longer. I find the thickest, fattest dildo in the house. When that's not enough, I try and sit on it and drive it deeper inside me. Background: My Love was traveling internationally for a week. I was ordered not to touch myself while he was away. Until the last day before he came home - then I was told I must bring myself to the edge of orgasm 5 times - but could not come.