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*Update* It wasn't him. But now I'm scared straight. Two numbers got combined in my phone somehow. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe it's a sign from God, idk, to stop posting on Craigslist. yes, I did it again. Insanity. I'm an idiot. The ad was about finding a guy I could talk to on the phone or text with. I just had an urge to hear a hot, sweet, sexy male voice on...
Jul 02, 2014

I did check out some videos (clips?) James Deen was in on Redtube (since it's convenient). Still going through them. I'm still not a fan of rough stuff. I kinda liked this one: http://www.redtube.com/384870. I was pretty shocked that I did. As hard as it is watching women in porn videos , it's even harder when those women are black too. Too close to home. I start thinking about their possible life scenarios and stuff. Ugh, dumb, I know, I know. He didn't do the sque...
Feb 02, 2014

Guy cravings, ugh. They're so annoying. One minute you're fine, then it strikes and you long for warm male flesh pulsating between your thighs. I wonder when that usually shuts off permanently. So I guess that means it's time for recorded male voices and video.  They go on and on until you cum..or cum again until you cum. Press play, rewind, fast forward, no b.s. In this craving mode I wrote a Craigslist ad. Good lord, what a bummer. It reminded me that I think I&#...
Jan 31, 2014

...Thinking of taking a break. Not that I've been on all that much. It's been on my mind for a bit, though. It feels weird to have photos exist of me online without my drawers on. I'm a pretty reserved sort of person.  I like to be in clothes, very very much. Also, as I've said before, sometimes I get bummed when I stop by here and stay too long. I start feeling quite single, unbearably single. My favorite part about this site, though, is ge...
Feb 26, 2013

I watched one of the Tube8 video links toward the end on the recent videos. Kinda random. The thumbnail was a woman with a guys cock in ther mouth, I think. A type of video I'd usually avoid. Do you ever watch porn and think about the people's lives in the video? That tends to happen when I watch porn with women in it. Sometimes I can let go and enjoy the action other times I just can't watch whoever she is in that situation. I have to admit, I kinda liked this one. She...
Dec 03, 2012

..about which of the American president and vice president nominees you'd get it on with (if they werent married), I didn't answer. Ok, that was a gigantic sentence. My junior high language arts teacher would have corrected me. But then again, I didn't write any papers back then about screwing anyone in a presidential election. So he probably would have called my mom too. I did get two responses to my poll, yay! Basically they had the same answers I did: Obama and ...
Nov 07, 2012

Things have gotten a bit stressful again and I find myself wanting to peek at penises. Penises attatched to guys touching those penises. Men are so distracting. That definately comes in handy in times like this. If it works. It doesn't work like it used to. I'm still into the same thing - guys jacking off. I just can't get sick of it. Maybe I will later on. Maybe I'll have had enough negative experiences with men that even their lovely naked bodies will make me sick...
Nov 02, 2012

I've been avoiding this site. I'll masturbate here and there but not as much as times past. I don't really want to hear about sex much or guys. My orgasms are still screwed up. Not that it's stopped me. I guess there are other things weighing on my mind. I wonder if there's some sort of hotline you can call to talk just to someone. Guys used to be distractions from these thoughts but they always turn into another burden in my head. I guess it's time for the thoug...
Oct 01, 2012

I saw Magic Mike tonight. I bet you're shocked I went to see that. Heh. I realized I have a thing for guys in hoodies. Ok, I guess I already knew it. Alex Pettyfer in that red hoodie was just good. Very good. Sometimes seeing guys in certain articles of clothing is almost sexier than seeing them fully naked. Although if one were to just go by the looks of the guys in my favorite videos/photos it wouldn't be surprising I brought up Pettyfer. Damn I'm a sic...
Jun 30, 2012

I found myself on Youporn. I must have clicked on one of the videos at the bottom of the page. The second video I watched was pretty hot. It was a man and woman having sex. Usually I tend to avoid that combination and watch solo guys. Male/female combos remind me that I'm a lonely bastard getting no action. But the guy was cute so I kept watching. I almost sort of put myself in her place, in a way. Thinking about how certain moves felt as he did them. My favorite was when ...
Jun 24, 2012

I wish I could find out how long they are beforehand. I'm tempted by this guy's videos, but I don't know if it's going to be what I'm lead to believe. It's probably not smart to make porn purchases while really horny. It's kind of on the level of going to the grocery store while hungry.
Jun 06, 2012

 In the past few weeks I saw two dimensional images of a guy from Xtube that made me lust him pretty bad. I wanted to know what his flesh would feel like under my hands. I wanted to know how it would feel to remove his clothing or watch him undress in front of me. I wanted to hear his voice. Goodness, that was a nice body. I'd like to watch him take a shower....and get dressed again. I'd like to soap him up during that shower. Rinse him, then dry him off. I've neve...
Jun 05, 2012

I hate when I go back on my word. I said I'd avoid guys, and slipped alittle. Now I have a renewed sense that I want to avoid that sort of thing. So embarrassed. I feel sleazy and used at the same time. But I still like looking at guys in photos and videos, just no personal contact. Even before Iost my mind for a moment, I sent a text to this guy I had empty experiences with. His body was my favorite. I still think about it every now and then. But I had a fairly old number...
Apr 10, 2012

Hello. I haven't been on XTube in months. I see alot of friend requests and will just add everyone. Sorry it's not as personal as it used to be, but when I take these long breaks from the site, it screws everything up. For those who sent me friend requests and messages: Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to look at my profile and to respond in some way (sending a request/message). I appreciate it! My life hasn't changed that much, but I keep having weir...
Mar 28, 2012

Do you ever feel like you've gone through something for a reason? Somehow you were shown a message you really needed to see. I don't know if I'm going crazy or what, but I've been feeling like that quite a bit lately. My brother is staying with me at the moment and I'm started to feel sure that I am a loner. I don't think I want to live with anyone else again for as long as I can. I also wonder if dealing with him is kind of what having a husband would be like minus...
May 25, 2011

Lately I've been turned on by videos where I can hear the porn the guy is watching. It's especially helpful when the guy shooting the video doesn't make much noise. I tend to think professional porn sounds kinda fake and over the top. (Which I can understand, since it's a job, not personal sex.) And if I were to watch the videos these men were watching I probably wouldn't get into it. But just hearing those male moans, grunts, et...
Feb 07, 2011

I'm in a write-y mood at the moment. I've been meaning to elaborate on what I meant when I mentioned an open mind on my profile. I mainly meant someone who is able to look beyond the surface and the initial conclusion one comes to when first meeting someone. I was thinking about how that was written because it can also be seen as someone who is open to exploring all sorts of sexual stuff (or at least that might be the assumption because of this site'...
Feb 02, 2011

Ok, yes, another blog post about lost favorite videos. Yesterday night/early morning I went through the remains of my favorite videos and realized most of the ones left don't have sound. Bummer. Sound really helps. Sometimes I wonder how much I actually need the visual if there is sound. It doesn't even have to be fancy moaning or sexy talk, just breathing is hot. Although I can understand why one wouldn't make a lot...
Jan 22, 2011

So many blogs posts dedicated to hooking up. I'm mucking the tide alittle with more ramblings. I suppose.                                                         ...
Jan 20, 2011

Seeing some of this video thumbnails it makes me think back to something stupid I did. Yes, it's guy related. This guy was the first guy I actually let really touch my vagina. Embarassing. I never realized how difficult it can be to recieve pleasure from someone else. I felt like one of those frogs pinned to a pin of wax in 7th grade science class being poked and prodded by a curious student.  I'm not sure why I gave into this guy. It wasn't the best think to do. But he wa...
Jan 19, 2011


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