I've been avoiding this site. I'll masturbate here and there but not as much as times past. I don't really want to hear about sex much or guys. My orgasms are still screwed up. Not that it's stopped me. I guess there are other things weighing on my mind. I wonder if there's some sort of hotline you can call to talk just to someone. Guys used to be distractions from these thoughts but they always turn into another burden in my head. I guess it's time for the thoughts to take center stage.